Counterfeit Comforts

“You can be good and have a godless life, you can be nice and have a godless life, you can be miserable and have a godless life. You just never reach the peace that God has created for you to have on planet earth without Him.  You can’t drink it, you can’t smoke it, you can’t sex it, you can’t ride it – you can’t do enough to have the peace…” – Ralph Douglas West

How do you soothe yourself when you want to feel better?

Do you turn to shopping, food, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc.?

“The more we lie to ourselves about how we are contributing to our problems, the more harm we will cause to ourselves and our relationships because we will blame others for undesirable aspects of our lives instead of taking responsibility for our role.” – Cortney S. Warren

A few years ago I caught a bit of a television show where I heard a woman (Robia Scott) talking about her life and her new book, “Counterfeit Comforts.”

The author, a professional dancer and actress by trade, shares her journey of overcoming her counterfeits — such as smoking, excessive spending, and obsession with food and body image.  Outwardly she had the signs of success that many people believe will make them happy — a career she loved, good looks and lots of money, but inside she wasn’t at peace.

He said, “Food’s not your issue.  It’s the fact that when feelings are coming up: abandonment, rejection, disappointment – you don’t know how to process what’s going on with you.  So you’re running to a counterfeit – food, for comfort.  And so food is really just a fruit of an unhealthy root.'”  And that counterfeit can be so many things. – Robia Scott

Robia Scott shares her story:

Calling Out the Counterfeit Comforts

Robia Scott – Counterfeit Comforts

“You’ve got to get clear about what you do, how you do it, why you do it and the results that you’re getting.” –Iyanla Vanzant



Professor Pain

There is no growth without change, no change without fear or loss and no loss without pain. – Rick Warren

Have you ever been in so much pain that all you do is lie in bed staring up at the ceiling as tears run down your face, crying out to God (or whoever) for Him to change your circumstances? And then a few minutes later – when the relief and comfort don’t come, you turn over on your side, curling up in the fetal position and really go into the ugly cry – you know, the kind of cry that has tears pouring out of your eyes and snot running out of your nose – all at the same time.  You need two separate tissues just to deal with it.  This is the kind of upset where your mind starts thinking crazy thoughts like wishing that you would just fall asleep and never wake up – until you’re in heaven.  Yep, I’ve been there too.

Pain is pain. Loss is loss.  None of us will go through this life without experiencing pain.  And if you live long enough, you will experience loss and disappointments.  The reason doesn’t matter – pain HURTS!  Whether the pain is physical or emotional we can sometimes find that the challenge to overcome it seems like it is too much for us to bear.  So what do we do when the pain of life feels like it’s too heavy a weight?  Do you try to escape it by running away or finding a distraction?  Some people try to numb the pain through drugs, alcohol, food, sex, shopping, work, you name it.

Well now might be a good time to seek the advice of a professional (therapist).

God doesn’t intend for you to handle all the pain and stress in your life by yourself.  We were wired for each other.  We need each other. – Rick Warren

Maybe we need to have a different perspective on this whole pain thing.

“What if in skipping the pain, I was missing my lessons?” – Glennon Doyle Melton, author

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. – George Bernard Shaw

Lately I’ve been watching a lot of YouTube videos in the personal development category.  Two that stuck out for me talked about pain.  We usually want to run and hide from pain, but what if we were to lean into that pain, to go deep inside our mind and look at that pain – can we use that pain to propel us forward?  Time and time again as I watch these videos, I see how people overcame their circumstances and transformed their lives.

You can either break down and stay broken down and shut down, and you can break open, and it’s, it’s a decision you make, it’s a commitment – I’m not going to waste this opportunity to become the best me.  You’re always given these opportunities to either break open into the mystery or to shut down. – Elizabeth Lesser (Co-founder of Omega Institute; Author)


“Accept that their actions hurt you deeply. Accept that this experience taught you something you didn’t want to know. Accept that sorrow and strife are part of even a joyful life. Accept that it’s going to take a long time to get that monster out of your chest. Accept that someday what pains you now will surely pain you less.” – Cheryl Strayed, author

Glennon Doyle Melton – How Letting In Pain Can Make You the Person You’re Meant to Be


Emotional Mastery: The Gifted Wisdom of Unpleasant Feelings by Dr. Joan Rosenberg


Mandy Saligari talks about feelings



What is Faith?

What comes to mind when you hear the word faith?  When we are going through a difficult time in life we hear things like:  Have faith, keep the faith.  Those words are meant to encourage us, to comfort us.  But having faith and keeping the faith can be very hard, especially when life isn’t going as planned or as we thought it should go.

What is faith?  Here’s several definitions I found on the word faith:

  • Complete confidence or trust in someone or something.
  • Strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.
  • Confidence or trust in a person, thing, or concept.
  • Confidence or trust in a particular system of religious belief.

“Keep the faith” is defined as:

  • To continue to believe in, trust, or support someone or something when it is difficult to do so.
  • Don’t stop believing.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1)

Faith is mentioned many times in the bible.  Just for fun, I did a Google search to find out how many times.  This is what Google says:

The word “faith” appears 336 times in the King James Version. Other bible versions have varying counts: Faith appears 458 times in the New International Version, 389 in the New King James Version, 378 in the New American Standard Bible and 521 in the Good News Bible (GNB).”

Short videos on faith:

What is Faith? by Jefferson Bethke


Bishop Barron on What Faith Is and What Faith Isn’t

“Trusting God completely means having faith that He knows what is best for your life.  You expect Him to keep His promises, help you with problems, and do the impossible when necessary.” – Rick Warren






If you are here it’s probably because like me, you are going through a storm, looking for answers and wondering what to do, or maybe you’re just looking for a bit of inspiration to get you through the next moment, hour or day.  Maybe you’re struggling to hold yourself together, maybe you’re struggling to have hope.  Maybe you’re tired of the struggle and pain and fear and worry.  Perhaps you’re having difficulty keeping the faith.

This site is about going and getting through the storms of life. I’m not saying I have any answers for your particular situation, but I do have decades of experience going through/getting through life storms (a.k.a trials, tests, tribulations) and thriving afterwards.  Currently my life has been shaken up like never before.  Frankly speaking, life as I previously knew it is gone.  It kind of feels like a tsunami hit my life.  The destruction began 4 years ago.  It started with the death of my mother – and the waves kept coming.  Although I’m still “going through,” I thought maybe I could put my pain to some use and help others.  I have been blessed with some very special friends, successful people who have been a great help in my journey.  I will also be sharing their advice on storm navigation with you too.  My hope is that you find something here that will help you.